Hollywood Living: Battle of the Birds
by TALKS
Summary: Thanksgiving themed one shot from the Hollywood Living verse where Santana and Brittany take on their friends in a friendly competition of who can make the best turkey for Thanksgiving. *Brittana*Love*Humor*Friendship


**Quick one shot that takes place one year after the London chapter in HL...yes Brittany is alive and healthy, so don't worry. **

**Enjoy ;)**

* * *

**5am**

Santana stared at the clock, mouthing the steps to preparing her turkey quietly to herself while Brittany laid fast asleep behind her. The blonde stirred and sighed softly before clearing her throat and nestling her face in her wife's long dark tresses. Santana glanced over her shoulder at Brittany and rested her hand on the paler one, that was resting on her waist. She pressed a soft kiss to Brittany's forehead before turning back around to the clock just as the alarm blared through the room, jolting Brittany awake.

Santana quickly reached over and turned it off. "Sorry, baby." She stated when Brittany sighed against the back of her neck.

"It's okay." Brittany shrugged. "What time is it?"

"5am." Santana replied while turning over to face her face. "How are you feeling?" She asked while rubbing Brittany's back.

Brittany's eyes opened as she smiled. "Good."

"Yeah?" Santana smiled brightly.

"Yeah." She nodded in reply. "Thank you for taking care of me."

"I love you." Santana shrugged. "Taking care of you is a no brainer, baby."

"Happy Thanksgiving." Brittany grinned.

"Happy Thanksgiving to you." Santana smiled before kissing Brittany and running her fingers through her hair. "I'll get your pills out and make you a smoothie, then after I finish prepping the turkey I'll come massage your knee before I start the other dishes."

"I can just soak in a hot bath, you don't have to do my knee this morning." Brittany shook her head as her eyes closed again. "Wait…it's 5am?!" She then asked while quickly opening them. "Why are you up so early?"

Santana nodded and hopped out of bed. "I need to make sure the turkey is perfect, Mercedes thinks she is such a better cook than everyone, well the Lopez-Pierce turkey will kick her turkey's ass this year."

Brittany giggled while watching her wife walk in the closet and come out with a pair of small shorts, a long sleeve tshirt, and a pair of white converse on before walking into the bathroom. "Of course it will." Brittany played along.

"Seriously!" Santana stated while walking out of the bathroom, her toothbrush in her mouth. "Okay, so her turkey was good last year, not denying that, but it wasn't like _smack your mom_ good." She shrugged. "Quinn's turkeys are always dry, so we are safe there."

"Santana." Brittany laughed.

"Seriously, how do you dry out dark meat?" Santana scowled. "_Battle of the Birds_ is a shoo in for me."

"_Battle of the Birds?"_ Brittany laughed while sitting up against the headboard.

"Yep, I made tshirts too." Santana smiled while pointing to her tshirt, which read _Team Snixx_ over a picture of a turkey wearing a red cape with a huge smile, with a smile as toothpaste dripped down her chin.

Brittany got out of bed and grabbed a tissue from the bedside table and wiped Santana's chin for her. "Do I get a tshirt too?"

"Of course." Santana smiled. "In the closet on the left." She added before turning to walk back in the bathroom.

Brittany followed her to the bathroom and reached for her toothbrush while Santana stared at her. "Go back to bed."

"No, I want to help you, you don't have to cook the whole meal alone this year." Brittany shook her head. "Last year I was sick and couldn't help you at all, this year I feel really good."

"Brit, you were still recovering from London last year." Santana frowned. "I don't hold that against you. You know that."

"I know, but I still want to help you." Brittany smiled. "Besides, we make magic in the kitchen together." She winked as someone knocked on their bedroom door.

Santana rinsed her mouth and walked to the door where, a now six year old, Mackenzie was waiting impatiently. "Happy Thanksgiving!" She said happily while smiling brightly at Santana.

Santana smiled back and kneeled down to hug her. "Happy Thanksgiving, baby girl." She winked back. "Did you teeth come back yet?" She teased when Mackenzie smiled and showed off her two front missing teeth in the middle of her mouth.

"Not yet." Mackenzie blushed.

"Ok, just checking, any other ones feel loose, should I call the tooth fairy and tell her to get ready?" Santana asked while standing back and stepping to the side so Mackenzie could walk in the room.

"Nope." The little blonde shrugged while jumping in the bed. "Where's momma?" She asked while looking around.

Brittany walked out of the bathroom, drying her face with a towel, and smiled. "Right here, Mack. What are you doing up this early?" She asked her before kissing her on the cheek.

"I'm the sous chef." Mackenzie stated proudly while pointing to her tshirt, which matched Santana's.

"You had her wake up at 5?" Brittany raised her eyebrow at her wife and went to the closet to change into her tshirt, and a pair of yoga pants.

"She offered to help." Santana shrugged while brushing her hair. "Go get a bowl of cereal, baby. We'll be down soon."

"Cool, you want one too?" Mackenzie asked her mothers.

"No cereal for me, how about some toast?" Brittany asked. "Just pop it in the toaster for me."

"Don't touch the stove." Santana yelled after her as she ran out of the room.

Brittany walked over and sat on Santana's lap and kissed her cheek. "Are you waking the boys up this early too?"

Santana wrapped her arms around Brittany's waist and began to kiss down her neck. "No, I will around 8 to cut the grass and make sure the yard looks nice. It's 85 degrees today for some reason, so we are eating outside."

Brittany lifted her head and caught her wife's lips. "Okay, can you spare ten minutes for a make out session with me?" She asked.

"I'll give you fifteen minutes." Santana smirked while turning Brittany to straddle while pushing her tongue into her wife's mouth, sighing into the kiss when she heard Brittany moan softly as she wrapped her arms around the Latina's neck.

* * *

"Ok, Mercedes is bringing the mac n cheese, I won't even debate her on that, hers is way better than mine, Q has green bean casserole and yams, and Rachel is bringing shit we probably won't eat." Santana stated as they walked in the kitchen.

"Rachel is bringing tofurkey." Brittany reminded her.

"Exactly, some shit no one will eat." Santana shrugged.

"So I'm on?" Brittany asked.

"You, baby are making ham, since your glaze is amazing, we need to make corn, rolls, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and pies." Santana added.

"Where's the turkey?" Carter asked loudly when they came into his view. He was sitting at the table holding a fork and a knife, with a plastic bib he made in school with a turkey on it.

Santana quickly took the knife out of his hand and shook her head as Mackenzie slurped her cereal next to him.

"Dinner is at 4pm." Brittany told him. "Have some cereal with your sister in the meantime." She added while running her fingers through his hair before turning to accept her pills from Santana. "Thank you."

"I made your toast." Mackenzie stated while setting her spoon down and hopping out of her chair to run over to the toaster and place the toast on a plate for Brittany.

"Thanks Mack." Brittany smiled.

Carter picked up her spoon and began to eat his sister's cereal, which Santana immediately noticed. She smacked him on the back of the head and snatched the spoon. "Try not to irritate everyone today, please." She requested before handing him a bowl and the box of cereal with a new spoon. "I'm not opposed to spankings on holidays."

Carter gulped and nodded while pouring his cereal.

"We don't spank." Brittany quipped.

"We could and we should." Santana whispered harshly. "He runs around like a damn animal some days, B."

"He's an energetic kid." Brittany replied. "If I recall, so were you."

Santana spread apple jelly on her toast and took a big bite while frowning. "Are you thinking of Santana Rivera?" She asked. "You know the weird ass kid in our kindergarten class that would eat her crayons, now _she _was more hyper than you as a child, which is terrifying. You know that bitch stole my lunch one day!" She then exclaimed. "SR and SL _clearly_ look different, different initials!"

"I shared my lunch with you that day." Brittany laughed.

"It's the principle, baby." Santana replied quickly.

"Can I have a banana in my cereal?" Carter asked.

"In your Fruit Loops?" Santana asked. "Are you sure?" Carter nodded quickly. "Ok." Santana grabbed a banana from the plastic tree on the counter and cut it up over his cereal bowl for him.

Brittany sat at the table with her toast and a bowl of fruit when the phone rang. Santana jogged to the phone and answered happily.

**_Happy Thanksgiving!_**

_Yeah, yeah, yeah I just called to let you know my turkey has been marinating allllllllll night in my new marinade sauce and I'm taking you down Lopez. _Mercedes then laughed loudly and hung up the phone.

Santana stared at the phone in disgust before slamming it on the receiver. "Mack, let's get to work baby, we aren't losing this _Battle of the Birds!"_

* * *

**Noon**

"Careful Mackenzie." Brittany said softly as the little blonde sat on the counter and continued to stir the glaze for Santana's turkey.

"Ashton, how are we on time?" Santana asked while wiping her forehead with her arm after putting the lamb in the oven.

"You need to put the turkey in, like now." Ashton replied.

"Shit, okay." Santana nodded.

"Relax." Brittany smiled before kissing her on the cheek.

"Carter did you finish rubbing the bird with all the butter?" Santana as she walked over to him, and laughed once again at his apron that said _Kiss The Cook_.

He nodded and pointed to his apron. "Oh sorry." She smiled before kissing him on the cheek.

"All buttered!" He said proudly.

"How come Noah isn't helping cook?" Mackenzie asked.

"Because football is on." Noah laughed while quickly grabbing a soda out of the fridge and walking back to the family room.

"Can I watch football with Noah?" Carter asked as Santana opened the second oven in the kitchen and set the turkey in.

"Wash your hands first please." She nodded to him. "Ok, now we let it cook for forty five minutes, before we start basting it every fifteen minutes. Grey, got your stop watch set?"

"Yep." Ashton nodded. "I have to text Noey, she asked how our turkey was coming along."

Santana frowned. "Absolutely not." She grabbed his phone and read the text message Noelle sent. "Look Brit, Quinn wrote this, asking about ingredients and what's in the baste."

Brittany laughed and continued putting potatoes in a lot boiling pot of water, she then lifted Mackenzie off the counter, under Santana's watchful eye.

"Now what?" Mackenzie asked.

"We need to start our pies." Santana told her "We can use the ovens in the pool house to bake them. Grey, you can go hang out with the boys, I know you want to see the game too. Just let me know when it's been forty five minutes."

"Mackenzie, can you go get my phone from off the bed, please?" Brittany asked.

After Mackenzie ran out of the kitchen, she turned to Santana. "So what's in this marinade, I know you didn't want to say it with the kids around?"

Santana laughed. "Mackenzie has verbal diarrhea when it comes to Quinn and Mercedes, they know how to get certain things out of her, Carter just talks too much, and Ashton is always _Team Noey_. I have to be careful. I can trust you right?" She then asked Brittany seriously.

Brittany nodded quickly and held up her pinky. Santana blushed and locked pinkies with her, as they both kissed their joined hands. "It's pomegranate molasses, horseradish, mustard, salt, and coarsely ground black pepper."

"That sounds amazing." Brittany replied. "Whoa, good job Snixx." She then high fived the Latina, who smirked proudly.

"Tell me that won't win!" Santana laughed. "Ready to start the pies?"

"Let's do it." Brittany nodded.

"Do you need to sit down at all?" Santana asked.

"I'm okay." Brittany assured her. "But a kiss will make me feel better." She teased.

Santana leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed Brittany. "I'm thankful that our sweet lady kisses still make my stomach flutter with butterflies." She blushed before deepening the kiss for a moment and breaking it with a wet pop. "Apple pie first?"

* * *

"Did Ashton reply?" Quinn asked Noelle.

"No mom." She shook her head.

"Damn." Quinn frowned. "Ok, we can bet whatever San uses will have pepper in it. Let's just go a traditional route."

"Sounds good." Noelle smiled. "No matter how everyone votes, I'll like yours the best."

Quinn stopped as her eyes softened and quickly hugged her daughter. "I love you so much Noey."

"I love you too, mom." Noelle blushed. "Now let's get ready to win _Battle of the Birds_."

"We lost the flag cake competition on the fourth of July and the pumpkin carving contest this year. So we have to win this one." Quinn smiled.

"It's so cool how you all have contests for every holiday." Noelle smiled.

"Well we've always been in competition with each other, now it's just for fun." Quinn smiled.

"Aunt San gets really mad when she loses." Noelle pointed out. "She cried when she lost the flag cake competition."

"That was the liquor." Quinn sighed. "She had a lot of red, white, and blue martinis."

"Luckily Aunt Brit was able to get her off the floor and get the trophy out of her hand." Noelle laughed.

Quinn rolled her eyes at the memory of Santana throwing herself to the floor while clutching the trophy tightly and curling into a ball. "She's a little dramatic, but it's only because she's so passionate about everything she does."

"Well, she won't like throw the turkey or anything if she loses today, will she?" Noelle asked nervously.

"I know she threw her pumpkin in the street, and then the car ran over it, but she wouldn't throw a turkey." Quinn replied. "Well Aunt Brit won't let her throw a turkey."

"Ok, good." Noelle nodded. "Cuz I really like turkey."

* * *

Mercedes lifted her wooded spoon in the air and began to sing while dancing around the kitchen.

_It might seem crazy what I'm about to say_

_Sunshine she's here, you can take a break_

_I'm a hot air balloon that could go to space_

_With the air, like I don't care baby by the way_

Zach walked in the kitchen behind her and stared to sing with her.

_Because I'm happy_

_Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof_

_Because I'm happy_

_Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth_

_Because I'm happy_

_Clap along if you know what happiness is to you_

_Because I'm happy_

_Clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do_

Mercedes laughed and kissed him chastely. "You're just happy it's Thanksgiving and you can pig out."

"Well, duh, and because you're my wife." Zach told her while spinning her around and pulling her close and dancing slowly with her. "Ready to fry this turkey?"

"Yep." Mercedes nodded. "I keep calling Santana too spook her out."

Zach laughed and set the turkey on the rack to carry outside to fry. "Think it's worked?"

"Yep, she keeps hanging up on me." Mercedes replied while following him outside. "San can burn in the kitchen, we all know that, but I want this _Battle of the Birds_ trophy. I lost the pumpkin carving contest so I have to win this."

"You will." Zach told her. "Stand back, let's fry this sucker up!"

* * *

**4pm**

"I present my Black Pepper-Pomegranate Molasses Glazed Turkey." Santana stated proudly while setting her turkey on the table and sticking her chest out a little at the round of _ooohhhhsss and aaaahhhhhhsss_ that followed her presentation.

"Mercedes gave her a slow clap before yawning dramatically. "Let's get the main event." She winked at Santana, who scowled at her.

"Go get your dry ass bird." She snapped.

"I'm not Quinn." Mercedes laughed. "Sorry babe," she added to Quinn, who quickly frowned.

"I messed up _one_ turkey!" Quinn replied. "Not like I killed the pope."

"I'm catholic, watch it." Santana told her while pointing a celery stalk at her. "Don't get our house struck down because of your heathenistic talk."

"I am too." Quinn laughed. "Brit, get your wife."

"Nope, I'm all _Team Snixx_ today." Brittany laughed while rubbing Santana's back.

"That's right, you just earned yourself an extra dessert." Santana whispered loudly.

"We heard that." Puck laughed.

"Good." Santana replied. "Maybe you all will get the hint to leave at a decent time this year. I want to thank my wife _all_ night."

"Just thank her now in front of everyone." Carter suggested while reaching for a carrot and crunching on it loudly.

"Carter, we don't want that." Noah replied. "Trust me."

"Ok." Carter shrugged.

"Now _this_ is a turkey." Mercedes smiled while bringing out her turkey. "This is my Memphis Fried Turkey."

"Wait….I thought you were bringing the turkey from last year?" Santana asked quickly.

"No turkey repeats, babe." Mercedes laughed.

"Now _that's _a turkey!" Manny nodded while licking his lips.

Mercedes winked. "Of course it is, honey. I know your mom doesn't now how to do this."

"I'm not a bad cook!" Quinn yelled angrily.

"I love your cooking." Puck assured her.

"Don't you have to say that cuz you're married like my mom tells my mom she likes her squash casserole, just to make her happy, but you really don't?" Carter asked while pulling at the collar of his sweater.

"You don't like my squash casserole?" Brittany asked.

"Dammit Carter." Santana mumbled, before turning to Brittany. "I love everything about you."

"That doesn't answer the question." Quinn smiled.

"Don't deflect from my turkey." Mercedes snapped before smiling when she got everyone's attention again.

"Tell us about the turkey, it smells wonderful." Mrs. Pierce smiled while rubbing Danielle's back as she slept on her grandmother's shoulder.

"The rub is smoked paprika, garlic powder, onion powder, cayenne pepper, thyme, 1 tablespoon salt and 1 1/2 teaspoons black pepper in a bowl." Mercedes stated. "Fried to perfection, even the white meat is so tender and moist it'll make you smack yo mama, so sorry Mrs P in advance for Hannah and Brittany possibly hitting you later." She laughed.

"So we get to smack our moms?" Carter asked happily. "I pick mommy!"

"What the hell?" Santana snapped as Brittany cleared her throat to stop from laughing.

"Don't hit mommy." Ashton whispered with a smile.

"I'll give you a twenty if you do." Manny laughed until Santana's glare turned on him.

"Put the money up boy." Puck laughed.

"Quinn, would you like to grab your turkey?" Mrs. Pierce asked.

"Sure, I mean I didn't do any special or fancy marinades." She replied. "I just baked it like normal."

"Loser." Santana coughed causing Brittany to laugh but stopped quickly when Quinn turned and looked around the room before leaving to get her turkey.

"You have one more time for an outburst Carter." Santana then snapped. "I'm not playing with you today."

"It's a holiday." Brittany sang in her ear. "Please relax."

Santana sighed as Brittany rubbed her lower back.

Quinn brought out her turkey proudly and set it on the table with a smile. "That lucks great, Quinn." Rachel smiled.

"It does look really good." Ashton agreed.

"Traitor." Santana sighed while glancing Ashton who was allowing Noelle to fix his bowtie for him, she then kissed him on the cheek as Puck shifted uncomfortably but watched them the entire time.

"Thank you." Quinn beamed.

"Should I get my tofurkey?" Rachel asked.

"No, we don't want that!" Carter yelled.

"Carter!" Brittany snapped. "Please be respectful."

"I want some." Mackenzie smiled.

"Great." Rachel smiled while running to the kitchen and bringing it back out. "Santana could you please move the plastic trophy so I can set my dish down."

"Nah." Santana replied.

"I got it." Hannah laughed as she picked up the plastic turkey and set it on the table with the additional sides.

"Everything looks so good." Noah stated. "I can't wait to dig in."

"Let's start by saying what we are all thankful for." Brittany stated while squeezing Santana's hand and smiling at her wife. "I'll start first, I'm thankful for you, Sanny, my amazing wife, who has stuck by my through everything the past two years. I love you so much, baby, so, so much. To my four beautiful kids, I love each and every one of you so much, you complete me and make me proud everyday. To my mom and sister, losing daddy was hard on all of us, in different ways, but it's also brought us closer together, I love you all. To our friends, the Puckerman, Hudson, and Atkinson families, thank you for all that you do, from watching the kids when we need you to, to just being an amazing support system. I'm thankful for life, It's been two years since I was diagnosed with lupus, and I woke up today feeling strong, and ready to take on the rest of my life, thank you to everyone in this room that has done something whether large or small to help with my acceptance and comfort revolving around my illness. Thank you." She added while sniffling.

Santana lifted their joined hands and wiped Brittany's tears away before kissing her softly on the lips.

"I'm thankful for my mommies, Grammy, Aunt Hannah, Uncle Jackson, Noah, and Ashton. Cinderella and Shelly too. Oh, and Aunt Quinn and Uncle Puck, Aunt Cedes and Uncle Zack, and Aunt Rachel and Uncle Finn." Mackenzie smiled. "And for cookies!"

"What about Carter?" Mrs. Pierce asked with a smile.

"No." Mackenzie shook her head and glared at her brother before sticking her tongue through the hole in her teeth at him, making him cringe.

"Well, I'm thankful for Wolverine, stink bombs, my karate belts, chocolate cake, and farts!" Carter listed quickly.

"You need to be thankful that momma has a no spanking rule in the house." Noah laughed when he saw Santana glaring at Carter, her vein in her forehead now bulging from anger.

"Why farts Little Lopez?" Zack asked.

"Because they make your stomach feel better, and they get Mackey out of my room quickly."

"I'm thankful that momma is healthy, well kind of, and that she's up and walking around today, last year Thanksgiving was kind of rough, you got tired really early and missed dinner." Ashton said softly. "So I'm happy that you get to eat with us this year." Brittany sniffled while blinking her tears away and blowing him a kiss.

"I'm thankful for family, I have two moms that sacrifice so much for us, aunts and uncles that bend over backwards to help our family, a grandmother who lost the love of her life but has proven to be the strongest woman I've ever met. I'm thankful for these knuckles heads next to me." He laughed while glancing at his younger siblings. "You three make me a better person because I know you're hanging on to everything I do, and I can't let you down."

"Well said." Mrs. Pierce smiled. "I'm thankful for everyone in this room, my daughters who have amazing families, my beautiful grandchildren who keep Daniel's memory alive for me every day, even though they don't know it."

The rest of the families went through their thanks one by one, causing more tears and hugs to be exchanged before Santana finally smiled.

"That leaves me." Santana cleared her throat and let go of Quinn's hand to wrap both of her hands around Brittany's. "This is going to sound selfish, but bare with me. I'm thankful for myself, for having a sound mind, a clear mind so I can continue to take care of my family in the way that they need. When Brittany was first diagnosed I lost my mind, I acted out in a number of ways and it came from fear. Fear that I wouldn't be able to save her, fear that I would let my kids down, fear that I would let Hannah and Mama P down. But I stand here today with a clear mind, I know that if Brittany needs anything I won't go into a panic attack, I can help her without thinking and that's the most important thing to me, that's the best feeling in the world." She paused when Brittany kissed a few of her tears away.

"I'm also thankful that I have a wife and four kids that put with my crazy." Santana laughed. "A mother in law that has opened her arms, heart, and mind to me when I need to talk. I lost my mom years ago, but I've never felt that I didn't a mom to go to, Mama P, I'm so, so thankful for you; you have no idea. I'm thankful for everyone in this room, I could list why individually but the food would get cold." She laughed. "Just know that each and everyone holds a special piece of my heart, I love you all so much."

"We love you too." Quinn smiled while rubbing Santana's arms. "We love you and we are super proud of you."

"Don't try to butter me up to get my vote." Santana teased before turning and hugging Quinn. "Thanks, now if Noah, Zack, and Puck will start to carve our turkeys, and Finn, sorry but you're stuck with your wife's tofurkey think. Do you even need a knife?" She laughed.

Finn laughed. "Yes, I need a knife."

* * *

**3 hours later**

Santana stood with her glass of wine. "Alright, it's time to vote. The turkeys are all labeled with a number, so under your plates is an index card, and Mackenzie will pass out pens, write down the number of the turkey you think was the best."

Rachel stood up quickly. "My turkey isn't numbered."

"For a reason." Brittany laughed. "No one ate any but you."

"Well, Mackenzie had some." Rachel defended.

"I spit it out." Mackenzie whispered. "Sorry Aunt Rachel."

"Next competition is yours. Sit this one out." Finn suggested before kissing her on the cheek..

Mackenzie passed out the pens, quickly voted, then grabbed the clear container Santana set out for her.

"You don't have your daughter stuffing the ballot box do you?" Mercedes laughed as she tossed her vote in.

"Whoa." Santana laughed. "I don't need to cheat, and wasn't that Berry that did that in highschool."

"I could have lost because of that." Brittany deadpanned.

"You were so triflin for that." Mercedes laughed.

"Denying Brittany her win." Santana snapped.

"Mom will you do the honors?" Brittany asked her mother, who was once again holding Danielle, as she slept."

"Certainly." Mrs. Pierce took the stack of names and separated them into piles on the table. "Santana, please honey." She laughed as Santana leaned over her shoulder.

"Sorry." She mumbled before sitting in Brittany's lap.

Mrs. Pierce counted the piles and tossed them back in the container. "The winner of _Battle of the Birds_ is….."

* * *

**I'll let you use your imagination on who won.**

**Happy Thanksgiving!**


End file.
